the most dreadful knock of my life

I had a cop knock on my door and tell Amadon to call my grandma. He wouldn't tell me what was wrong at first. He just cried. THen he told me. And I screamed. And screamed. And threw up. And cried.And begged for him to not be gone. I got angry and said he wasn't gone, he couldn't be. My dad had died.

He was shoveling snow and came inside to open a package. Then he had a heart attack. My grandma did CPR until the medics arrived but there was nothing anyone could do.

I can't even begin to tell you what it feels like to lose a parent. It's the most gut wrenching horrible thing to ever go through.

Today, I am going up to make funeral preparations. I will keep you posted. There is so much more to say but I just can't right now. I couldn't even sleep. It was the worst night of my life. The only thing that is giving me a slight bit of comfort is the fact that my mother had passed away a couple of weeks ago for the date. I knew how much my dad missed her and wanted to be with her. Now I'm praying with all my heart and soul that there is an afterlife and he is there with my mother

No longer DL residents

We sold our home in DL!!!! We gave the guy an incredibly good deal. We're hardly getting anything out of it but it's out of our hair, no more lot rent to pay, and these guys want to fix it up all nice and were really in need of a home. So I think it works out all around. He's even going to finish packing our stuff into boxes.

Adele LOVES to dance. It's the cutest thing ever. She shakes her little butt and shakes side to side. It's so funny.

My ebay auction adventure isn't going to well. However, I am selling two items so it's a start. I guess we'll just have to keep going and see what sells.

We put up Christmas lights yesterday on our windows and the bushes outside. It looks really nice. We're debating about a tree because of Adele. It would also save us money if we didn't get one but I just LOVE Christmas trees.

Other than that, not too much going on. Attempting to clean the trailer was hell. Every cleaner just froze as you put it on the surface so we added rubbing alcohol and that didn't work too good either. It was just awful. But no worried about that anymore. We've been making an effort to be more spiritual which I think is good.

random thoughts put together as baby is fussing

I don't know what it is but I've just been soooo tired lately. I could probably sleep 15 hours a day and be tired. I've been eating well, exercising, etc. I think it either has something to do with such short, dark days or my allergies are acting up. Amadon's been snoring like crazy too. We bought a humidifier (which is horrible for asthma but great for snoring sigh) and some prescription nasal spray for him. Last night was one of the first nights I didn't wake up from his snoring so here's hoping it helped.

My dad bought me an early birthday present. A very nice mixer. So I've been in cookie mode lately.

I borrowed a can opener to a little old lady neighbor and she gave me a thank you note and cookies. Will have to keep up that friendship. :)

Well, the baby is just FUSSY so time to go and hopefully she'll nap.

what's been going on

I've been thinking about some charity work I could do around the holidays. I think I'm going to make a donation basket for the shelters in GF. I would like to maybe get some crayons or stuffed animals for the kids. I thought about maybe doing something for the inmates but I have no idea what. Send a christmas card? Would people even care if they got one? Maybe I need to just pick one or two things and really do some good instead of trying to do everything, especially if it's not in my means. Old folks home. There's another good one. I bet they'd appreciate a card and maybe some cookies.

Well, we turned the house upside down to try and organize it, throw things, and put more on ebay.

I ordered more pics of the kids. I'm actually pretty up to date with the picture thing.

My grandpa went in for surgery yesterday. He had both knees replaced and is in a lot of pain. My grandma got quite the compliment. His roomate asked if she was his "daughter". We went out to lunch.

Amadon got a raise last night. It's pretty nice and he's really excited about it. Just in time for the holidays.

ebay

Well, this weekend consisted of a lot of work with our old place but I also got time in to make carmel apples with my cousin and visit Sam. Next weekend our car is going is getting fixed so we'll be in DL fri-sun. I finally made prints of about 100 pictures of Adele on the computer which should get mailed shortly. I have yet to post pics on here but I will.

Today, Adele and I took a long walk. She said her first word yesterday. Bye Bye. And she waved!!! So that was pretty neat. SHe babbles a lot now. Very intricate stories that she especially likes to tell Da Da.

The hubby and I have been watching the last of season 2 desperate housewives. We're hooked. I don't know what we're going to do when we've watched it all. Nip Tuck maybe.

I worked out this weekend. :) Yeah. I'm starting to really like working out now so I'm hoping I'm almost over that first hurdle.

We found a bunch of stuff to auction on ebay that we had stored. Here's hoping for some extra cash. The plasma staff won't let me donate plasma. They told me this after 2 hours of paper work and finger pricking. It was because I was surprise surprise born in Germany. So whoever told me that it didn't matter I was born there had no idea what they were talking about. There was a mad cow outbreak in Germany during the years I lived there and there is no way to screen for it and it can lay dormant for over 20 years.

healthy grilling

Pilates for Dummies review- liked it, no bullshit, just 18 exercises in order, great workout, challenging

Well, now that I'm in a workout groove I decided it's time to start eating healthier. And when I looked at a lot of recipes to make, they took a lot of prep time and ingredients so it wasn't the most practical. Frozen pizza, spaghetti, frozen fish, and things are very convenient and quick. So to solve this dilemma? We bought an indoor grill today. Very excited. Cooks frozen chicken in like 9 min, fresh in 6...veggies in 6, you can make desserts etc etc. All really healthy and quick. I'm excited. Oh and , it tastes wonderful (just taking a bite of the grilled veggies).

I also found out today that I'm not eating enough calories (found a really neat and intricate calculator online, will post it when I find it). So more calories, no junk, and lots of fruits and veggies.

Tomorrow I'm donating plasma (we had to reschedule) and it looks like the Germany thing won't be an issue. I asked them. So I don't get why I can donate plasma but not blood- I think it's because they test the plasma.

Well, I'll be in DL again tomorrow. And we're on our way to the base to get some groceries.

trying new things

I'm pretty upset with how the election turned out. It was also one of the worst voter turnarounds. We went though and voted. It was a lot different than I expected. The sweetie pie came with and I was filling in circles as I was chasing her around.

I have decided to try and decorate some christmas ornaments and so far so good. I think they're are going to turn out really well and I'm going to auction them on ebay. If it doesn't work out I have a bunch of neat ornaments that we could use anywayz. I just think I should put my artistic talent to use and maybe even make a little money with it. Especially around holiday season.

I'm scheduled to donate plasma on thurs. I can't donate blood because I'm from Germany so we'll see if the same rules apply for plasma. My guess would be yes but Amadon doesn't think so and he's donated before. Worth a shot. I'd be giving something good and getting a little bit of cash in return.

I worked out again today, and yesterday! I've been doing pretty good (lapsed a little around Halloween). Trying to find time and place to do it is absolutely insane. But i can't use that as an excuse. Yes, it is hard but not impossible and I can't wait to get back into shape again.I use to work out ALL the time premommy hood so I have some background but it's tough to get started again. Here is what I think of the workouts I've done so far.

Tae Bo- meh, it's good if you're in the mood and takes coordination but does deliver a good workout

Strip aerobics (yup, I tried it)- beginning was a little slow but then it got pretty fun once you started to learn the routine, you forget you're working out and your legs and butt kill the next day, and so do your arms from smacking the hubby that keeps trying to watch you

lifting weights- I actually love doing this except for squats, but I have a killer ab routine down and found that taking creatine really helps you from getting sore the next day

walking-great if it's warm out, not too into walking around the mall, not a window shopper, able to take baby with, however when it's cold it just does not work

I'm going to try pilates, yoga, and belly dancing this week. (yup, trying to keep myself challenged and interested)This is where netflix is a godsend.

Vote tomorrow!!

Well, election day is tomorrow. I'm all for measure 3. I've been double checking what everyone stands for. Google npat. It gives a ton of information of the candidates and everything being voted for. If you want to know what someone stands for, this is the site to do it. Don't just vote for someone who's name you remember, make sure you know what you're voting for, and don't just vote for a republican or democrat. Really research these guys. There's more than one running from each party and an independent might just have what you want. And I pretty much said screw whatever politician didn't bother to fill out the npat survey.

VOTE FOR MEASURE 3!!!!

finally a word

So I've been writing like a madwoman and I'm actually tempted to send it to a few publishers. I've been working on this for years and then I got writer's block for about two and all of a sudden it just hit me. Thoughts are flowing on paper that I didn't think were ever possible again.

I'm still up. I don't know why. I just haven't been able to sleep the last few nights but I guess I can't complain.

I just can't help but to at least bitch about this on my blog

Ok, it took all my strength to note respond to Sam's blog. For someone who hasn't even bothered with the most important moments of your life (baby born, baby's birthday, 21st birthday, almost being dead, and getting married oh just to name a few) to say Post!. I would tell them just what a horrible friend they are and how they don't even deserve to know the littlest detail about your life. Grrr. Yes, I'm pissed. I'm sick of seing Sam being treated this way. And I'm not holding back because I'm afraid of what they'll think of my response but because I don't want to start anything on Sam's end. But any day it's too much just give me the word. You deserve soooooo much better than that.

Well on a happier note I started writing again which I haven't done in a couple of years so that's exciting. It's like my writer's block has finally been lifted.

NIN

Today I cleaned the entire house. I am so suprised by everything I accomplished, especially during nap time. I'm a little over stressed so cleaning actually takes the edge off. Kinda like a sick drug.

Well, tonight I'm listening to NIN. Another one of those not sleeping very well kinda nights. Well, Shawn and his wife and kids were in GF today and emailed me to go do something with me and what did I do. Not even read my email until late tonight. Yup, so my friend from Iraq never got to see me. BUt hopefully we can reschedule.

Well Addy learned how to climb up the steps today. Yup. So my futile attempt at putting the baby gate up from the living to the kitchen didn't even matter as she climbed the entire stair well.So I put the gate up about the 4th stair so she can still practice stair climbing but hopefully at a much safer level. Well, that plan backfired. So all day it has been unending screaming and frustration from me not letting her climb at her own free will with ALL the stairs. She gets so stubborn and stuck on her new milestone. When she was learning to crawl she would get up at all hours of the night to "practice." Next comes running. I wish our house came with a big padded race track. Life would be sooo much easier.