Sunday, December 31, 2006
finally found my niche
I am starting my business! I am making handcrafted rosaries and repairing them. I'm also going to make handcrafted glass beads and jewelery. I'm price hunting right now for the different supplies I need. I can't wait to work with glass. It's been a passion of mine since I remember but I never had to chance. And even though I won't be blowing glass, I'll be using a torch to mold beads and shapes and that's a close second. Who knows maybe someday when the kids are grown I can go to glass school. I am so excited to start on this. It's going to be HARD work and I'm trying to prepare myself. For now I'm going to use other people's beads until I learn how to make my own. After that Then I'll design my website and hopefully open up my own little store one day or use part of our (future) house for the store and to teach classes. (gotta have dreams) Wish me luck!
Thursday, December 28, 2006
estate headache
Trying to close my dad's estate has just been pure hell and it's going to be about 3 months before it's completed. Sigh. I don't get any life insurance money until February and I have a HUGE lawyer's bill (charges $150 just base pay per hour)I have to pay before then and then the account's fees, and to get the estate taxes filed, etc etc. It's a headache. This of course hits right during Christmas so we don't have a lot of extra financial resources. But I'm sure I'll find a way to make it work.
That being said I also learned that any government assistance that the deceased or the heir have ever used gets filed against the estate. It's not worth it. Medicaid does not cover medial expenses. It is merely a loan that you will pay or your children will pay when you die. It's not a free ride. It's not even state help. You pay every single cent back you have ever had to use. I don't think I will ever use Medicaid ever again unless I absolutely have to because I want to leave my children something. This also accounts for Medicare.
Christmas was nice but I will make a post of that later. Today I've been a bit stressed but I worked out and it blew off some steam.
I've been working on a children's book and I'm going to make a craft store. Trying to stay busy.
That being said I also learned that any government assistance that the deceased or the heir have ever used gets filed against the estate. It's not worth it. Medicaid does not cover medial expenses. It is merely a loan that you will pay or your children will pay when you die. It's not a free ride. It's not even state help. You pay every single cent back you have ever had to use. I don't think I will ever use Medicaid ever again unless I absolutely have to because I want to leave my children something. This also accounts for Medicare.
Christmas was nice but I will make a post of that later. Today I've been a bit stressed but I worked out and it blew off some steam.
I've been working on a children's book and I'm going to make a craft store. Trying to stay busy.
Friday, December 22, 2006
a mystery
Today, we had quite the odd thing happen. There was a knock on the door during lunch when Amadon was home, so he answered it. A guy that seemed familiar to him handed him an envelope and told him that someone had asked him to give it to us. It was just a plain white envelope with his name typed on the outside. We opened it and there was a $50 gift certificate to Hugo's. We tried to catch the guy to find out who gave this to us but it was too late. So we thought of every single person we could have and we're stumped. The other odd thing is that the typing was done by a typewriter. Who even has one of those anymore that we know? It was very kind, generous, and we are grateful.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
no one is home anymore
"Nobody's Home" by Avril Lavigne
I couldn't tell you why she felt that way, She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her, I just watched her make the same mistakes again.
What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,ohShe wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh ohShe's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
I couldn't tell you why she felt that way, She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her, I just watched her make the same mistakes again.
What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,ohShe wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh ohShe's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Thursday, December 07, 2006
cookie monster
Today, I am attempting to make a turkey. I have never made one. The idea of having to take out the neak and giblets frightens me. I am making one from a frozen state. I read some recipes online for it so we'll see if it works. I'm also making pumpkin pie, scalloped potatoes, pistachio fluff, and green bean casserole. it feels like thanksgiving. But I'm going to be gone for a week so I thought it would be nice to have some good leftovers in the house. Nothing beats thanksgiving leftovers.
I have been trying to do some Christmas shopping and to no avail. I haven't bought one thing. Nope. nothing. Nadda. I just can't find anything I want to order for people. We still haven't decided about the tree. It might be nice to get a big scraggly looking one towards the end of this month and put real candles on it. But considering the baby I think we might wait a couple of years.
I made sugar cookies from scratch yesterday. It's just sooo much work for about 20 cookies. But at least it keeps me occupied. However, I'm thinking hitting the treadmill is a much better idea then learning how to make stuff from scratch everyday. I don't think this is the healthiest hobby to have right now.
I'm going to attempt to make an advent wreath today.I found a neat book about dinnertime prayers. I always use the standard one I learned from school and I'm not creative enough to make a good one of my own. But I'm also cheap. In fact I think this naming masses business for $5 a service that people do after funerals is kind of a nasty way to make money. I'm sorry. I get that it's for a good cause but the idea of getting money out of people that are grieving just doesn't seem right to me. You should never, ever have to pay for a prayer or blessing or mass to be said for someone. That seems so wrong. Nor is all this "christian" merchandise that people must be making a fortune on. To take advantage of people like that. I won't tell you what I hope those people that are profiting off of this get.
I think I'm going to go accomplish the wonderful task of paying bills and cleaning. At least that will be one less thing to worry about.
I have been trying to do some Christmas shopping and to no avail. I haven't bought one thing. Nope. nothing. Nadda. I just can't find anything I want to order for people. We still haven't decided about the tree. It might be nice to get a big scraggly looking one towards the end of this month and put real candles on it. But considering the baby I think we might wait a couple of years.
I made sugar cookies from scratch yesterday. It's just sooo much work for about 20 cookies. But at least it keeps me occupied. However, I'm thinking hitting the treadmill is a much better idea then learning how to make stuff from scratch everyday. I don't think this is the healthiest hobby to have right now.
I'm going to attempt to make an advent wreath today.I found a neat book about dinnertime prayers. I always use the standard one I learned from school and I'm not creative enough to make a good one of my own. But I'm also cheap. In fact I think this naming masses business for $5 a service that people do after funerals is kind of a nasty way to make money. I'm sorry. I get that it's for a good cause but the idea of getting money out of people that are grieving just doesn't seem right to me. You should never, ever have to pay for a prayer or blessing or mass to be said for someone. That seems so wrong. Nor is all this "christian" merchandise that people must be making a fortune on. To take advantage of people like that. I won't tell you what I hope those people that are profiting off of this get.
I think I'm going to go accomplish the wonderful task of paying bills and cleaning. At least that will be one less thing to worry about.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
change of perspective
I guess when you lose one of the most important people in your life it really makes you look at life differently. Small, petty things don't matter. Material goods hold no merit. You see your own mortality and of those around you. I wish I could go back and know everything I know now and change anything I need to change. I wish I could have seen the things that were trully important and hold on to those things. But I know I can't. However, people learn from their mistakes. I think I hold on too tightly to hurt and anger. I think it makes me blind at times. And that's no way to go through life. I have finally embraced my faith after years of doubt and scientific reasoning. I saw signs. Nothing big. Just little things. And enough of them to ease my heart and sorrow and put my faith in God. I know how it sounds. I use to be on that other end. It's something you can't explain. I wish I could.
When I saw my father for the first time he looked so cold. It wasn't him. He looked exactly like a cold, dead, corspe. Nothing more. Nothing less. I screamed. I went into shock. I ran out of there and sat in a chair and stared into nothingness. nothingness became dark. Just a dark place with no sounds, no feeling, just nothing. I guess I stayed in the same posistion for a long time. I drooled. My eyes were glassed over. It was horribly embarassing when I heard about it. To have other people mourn around you and know you weren't strong enough to share grief in the same way. To look like a young girl screaming for her father, not knowing any better, even making a scene in a way. I guess you never know how you react. I was able to make a speech at the rosary. It was the most heartfelt speech I ever made and I didn't cry. In fact I was happy that my father was at peace. Again I can't explain. Everyday is hard. It's hard to do anything that's normal. But maybe that's how it should be.
I had people reach out to me at my father's funeral that I never imagined would. I wish I could have come up with something better than thank you. I wish I could have had the words to make all the pain of the past go away. I wish I could have done something, anything other than just stand a distance away, awkard.
I have to close up my father's estate this week. I'm dreading it. It just seems so awful to even have to think about something so unimportant. It's just material things. But it also needs to be done. I guess somewhere I have to find strength and just keep going on.
When I saw my father for the first time he looked so cold. It wasn't him. He looked exactly like a cold, dead, corspe. Nothing more. Nothing less. I screamed. I went into shock. I ran out of there and sat in a chair and stared into nothingness. nothingness became dark. Just a dark place with no sounds, no feeling, just nothing. I guess I stayed in the same posistion for a long time. I drooled. My eyes were glassed over. It was horribly embarassing when I heard about it. To have other people mourn around you and know you weren't strong enough to share grief in the same way. To look like a young girl screaming for her father, not knowing any better, even making a scene in a way. I guess you never know how you react. I was able to make a speech at the rosary. It was the most heartfelt speech I ever made and I didn't cry. In fact I was happy that my father was at peace. Again I can't explain. Everyday is hard. It's hard to do anything that's normal. But maybe that's how it should be.
I had people reach out to me at my father's funeral that I never imagined would. I wish I could have come up with something better than thank you. I wish I could have had the words to make all the pain of the past go away. I wish I could have done something, anything other than just stand a distance away, awkard.
I have to close up my father's estate this week. I'm dreading it. It just seems so awful to even have to think about something so unimportant. It's just material things. But it also needs to be done. I guess somewhere I have to find strength and just keep going on.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
the most dreadful knock of my life
I had a cop knock on my door and tell Amadon to call my grandma. He wouldn't tell me what was wrong at first. He just cried. THen he told me. And I screamed. And screamed. And threw up. And cried.And begged for him to not be gone. I got angry and said he wasn't gone, he couldn't be. My dad had died.
He was shoveling snow and came inside to open a package. Then he had a heart attack. My grandma did CPR until the medics arrived but there was nothing anyone could do.
I can't even begin to tell you what it feels like to lose a parent. It's the most gut wrenching horrible thing to ever go through.
Today, I am going up to make funeral preparations. I will keep you posted. There is so much more to say but I just can't right now. I couldn't even sleep. It was the worst night of my life. The only thing that is giving me a slight bit of comfort is the fact that my mother had passed away a couple of weeks ago for the date. I knew how much my dad missed her and wanted to be with her. Now I'm praying with all my heart and soul that there is an afterlife and he is there with my mother
He was shoveling snow and came inside to open a package. Then he had a heart attack. My grandma did CPR until the medics arrived but there was nothing anyone could do.
I can't even begin to tell you what it feels like to lose a parent. It's the most gut wrenching horrible thing to ever go through.
Today, I am going up to make funeral preparations. I will keep you posted. There is so much more to say but I just can't right now. I couldn't even sleep. It was the worst night of my life. The only thing that is giving me a slight bit of comfort is the fact that my mother had passed away a couple of weeks ago for the date. I knew how much my dad missed her and wanted to be with her. Now I'm praying with all my heart and soul that there is an afterlife and he is there with my mother
Monday, November 27, 2006
No longer DL residents
We sold our home in DL!!!! We gave the guy an incredibly good deal. We're hardly getting anything out of it but it's out of our hair, no more lot rent to pay, and these guys want to fix it up all nice and were really in need of a home. So I think it works out all around. He's even going to finish packing our stuff into boxes.
Adele LOVES to dance. It's the cutest thing ever. She shakes her little butt and shakes side to side. It's so funny.
My ebay auction adventure isn't going to well. However, I am selling two items so it's a start. I guess we'll just have to keep going and see what sells.
We put up Christmas lights yesterday on our windows and the bushes outside. It looks really nice. We're debating about a tree because of Adele. It would also save us money if we didn't get one but I just LOVE Christmas trees.
Other than that, not too much going on. Attempting to clean the trailer was hell. Every cleaner just froze as you put it on the surface so we added rubbing alcohol and that didn't work too good either. It was just awful. But no worried about that anymore. We've been making an effort to be more spiritual which I think is good.
Adele LOVES to dance. It's the cutest thing ever. She shakes her little butt and shakes side to side. It's so funny.
My ebay auction adventure isn't going to well. However, I am selling two items so it's a start. I guess we'll just have to keep going and see what sells.
We put up Christmas lights yesterday on our windows and the bushes outside. It looks really nice. We're debating about a tree because of Adele. It would also save us money if we didn't get one but I just LOVE Christmas trees.
Other than that, not too much going on. Attempting to clean the trailer was hell. Every cleaner just froze as you put it on the surface so we added rubbing alcohol and that didn't work too good either. It was just awful. But no worried about that anymore. We've been making an effort to be more spiritual which I think is good.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
random thoughts put together as baby is fussing
I don't know what it is but I've just been soooo tired lately. I could probably sleep 15 hours a day and be tired. I've been eating well, exercising, etc. I think it either has something to do with such short, dark days or my allergies are acting up. Amadon's been snoring like crazy too. We bought a humidifier (which is horrible for asthma but great for snoring sigh) and some prescription nasal spray for him. Last night was one of the first nights I didn't wake up from his snoring so here's hoping it helped.
My dad bought me an early birthday present. A very nice mixer. So I've been in cookie mode lately.
I borrowed a can opener to a little old lady neighbor and she gave me a thank you note and cookies. Will have to keep up that friendship. :)
Well, the baby is just FUSSY so time to go and hopefully she'll nap.
My dad bought me an early birthday present. A very nice mixer. So I've been in cookie mode lately.
I borrowed a can opener to a little old lady neighbor and she gave me a thank you note and cookies. Will have to keep up that friendship. :)
Well, the baby is just FUSSY so time to go and hopefully she'll nap.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
what's been going on
I've been thinking about some charity work I could do around the holidays. I think I'm going to make a donation basket for the shelters in GF. I would like to maybe get some crayons or stuffed animals for the kids. I thought about maybe doing something for the inmates but I have no idea what. Send a christmas card? Would people even care if they got one? Maybe I need to just pick one or two things and really do some good instead of trying to do everything, especially if it's not in my means. Old folks home. There's another good one. I bet they'd appreciate a card and maybe some cookies.
Well, we turned the house upside down to try and organize it, throw things, and put more on ebay.
I ordered more pics of the kids. I'm actually pretty up to date with the picture thing.
My grandpa went in for surgery yesterday. He had both knees replaced and is in a lot of pain. My grandma got quite the compliment. His roomate asked if she was his "daughter". We went out to lunch.
Amadon got a raise last night. It's pretty nice and he's really excited about it. Just in time for the holidays.
Well, we turned the house upside down to try and organize it, throw things, and put more on ebay.
I ordered more pics of the kids. I'm actually pretty up to date with the picture thing.
My grandpa went in for surgery yesterday. He had both knees replaced and is in a lot of pain. My grandma got quite the compliment. His roomate asked if she was his "daughter". We went out to lunch.
Amadon got a raise last night. It's pretty nice and he's really excited about it. Just in time for the holidays.
Monday, November 13, 2006
ebay
Well, this weekend consisted of a lot of work with our old place but I also got time in to make carmel apples with my cousin and visit Sam. Next weekend our car is going is getting fixed so we'll be in DL fri-sun. I finally made prints of about 100 pictures of Adele on the computer which should get mailed shortly. I have yet to post pics on here but I will.
Today, Adele and I took a long walk. She said her first word yesterday. Bye Bye. And she waved!!! So that was pretty neat. SHe babbles a lot now. Very intricate stories that she especially likes to tell Da Da.
The hubby and I have been watching the last of season 2 desperate housewives. We're hooked. I don't know what we're going to do when we've watched it all. Nip Tuck maybe.
I worked out this weekend. :) Yeah. I'm starting to really like working out now so I'm hoping I'm almost over that first hurdle.
We found a bunch of stuff to auction on ebay that we had stored. Here's hoping for some extra cash. The plasma staff won't let me donate plasma. They told me this after 2 hours of paper work and finger pricking. It was because I was surprise surprise born in Germany. So whoever told me that it didn't matter I was born there had no idea what they were talking about. There was a mad cow outbreak in Germany during the years I lived there and there is no way to screen for it and it can lay dormant for over 20 years.
Today, Adele and I took a long walk. She said her first word yesterday. Bye Bye. And she waved!!! So that was pretty neat. SHe babbles a lot now. Very intricate stories that she especially likes to tell Da Da.
The hubby and I have been watching the last of season 2 desperate housewives. We're hooked. I don't know what we're going to do when we've watched it all. Nip Tuck maybe.
I worked out this weekend. :) Yeah. I'm starting to really like working out now so I'm hoping I'm almost over that first hurdle.
We found a bunch of stuff to auction on ebay that we had stored. Here's hoping for some extra cash. The plasma staff won't let me donate plasma. They told me this after 2 hours of paper work and finger pricking. It was because I was surprise surprise born in Germany. So whoever told me that it didn't matter I was born there had no idea what they were talking about. There was a mad cow outbreak in Germany during the years I lived there and there is no way to screen for it and it can lay dormant for over 20 years.
Friday, November 10, 2006
healthy grilling
Pilates for Dummies review- liked it, no bullshit, just 18 exercises in order, great workout, challenging
Well, now that I'm in a workout groove I decided it's time to start eating healthier. And when I looked at a lot of recipes to make, they took a lot of prep time and ingredients so it wasn't the most practical. Frozen pizza, spaghetti, frozen fish, and things are very convenient and quick. So to solve this dilemma? We bought an indoor grill today. Very excited. Cooks frozen chicken in like 9 min, fresh in 6...veggies in 6, you can make desserts etc etc. All really healthy and quick. I'm excited. Oh and , it tastes wonderful (just taking a bite of the grilled veggies).
I also found out today that I'm not eating enough calories (found a really neat and intricate calculator online, will post it when I find it). So more calories, no junk, and lots of fruits and veggies.
Tomorrow I'm donating plasma (we had to reschedule) and it looks like the Germany thing won't be an issue. I asked them. So I don't get why I can donate plasma but not blood- I think it's because they test the plasma.
Well, I'll be in DL again tomorrow. And we're on our way to the base to get some groceries.
Well, now that I'm in a workout groove I decided it's time to start eating healthier. And when I looked at a lot of recipes to make, they took a lot of prep time and ingredients so it wasn't the most practical. Frozen pizza, spaghetti, frozen fish, and things are very convenient and quick. So to solve this dilemma? We bought an indoor grill today. Very excited. Cooks frozen chicken in like 9 min, fresh in 6...veggies in 6, you can make desserts etc etc. All really healthy and quick. I'm excited. Oh and , it tastes wonderful (just taking a bite of the grilled veggies).
I also found out today that I'm not eating enough calories (found a really neat and intricate calculator online, will post it when I find it). So more calories, no junk, and lots of fruits and veggies.
Tomorrow I'm donating plasma (we had to reschedule) and it looks like the Germany thing won't be an issue. I asked them. So I don't get why I can donate plasma but not blood- I think it's because they test the plasma.
Well, I'll be in DL again tomorrow. And we're on our way to the base to get some groceries.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
trying new things
I'm pretty upset with how the election turned out. It was also one of the worst voter turnarounds. We went though and voted. It was a lot different than I expected. The sweetie pie came with and I was filling in circles as I was chasing her around.
I have decided to try and decorate some christmas ornaments and so far so good. I think they're are going to turn out really well and I'm going to auction them on ebay. If it doesn't work out I have a bunch of neat ornaments that we could use anywayz. I just think I should put my artistic talent to use and maybe even make a little money with it. Especially around holiday season.
I'm scheduled to donate plasma on thurs. I can't donate blood because I'm from Germany so we'll see if the same rules apply for plasma. My guess would be yes but Amadon doesn't think so and he's donated before. Worth a shot. I'd be giving something good and getting a little bit of cash in return.
I worked out again today, and yesterday! I've been doing pretty good (lapsed a little around Halloween). Trying to find time and place to do it is absolutely insane. But i can't use that as an excuse. Yes, it is hard but not impossible and I can't wait to get back into shape again.I use to work out ALL the time premommy hood so I have some background but it's tough to get started again. Here is what I think of the workouts I've done so far.
Tae Bo- meh, it's good if you're in the mood and takes coordination but does deliver a good workout
Strip aerobics (yup, I tried it)- beginning was a little slow but then it got pretty fun once you started to learn the routine, you forget you're working out and your legs and butt kill the next day, and so do your arms from smacking the hubby that keeps trying to watch you
lifting weights- I actually love doing this except for squats, but I have a killer ab routine down and found that taking creatine really helps you from getting sore the next day
walking-great if it's warm out, not too into walking around the mall, not a window shopper, able to take baby with, however when it's cold it just does not work
I'm going to try pilates, yoga, and belly dancing this week. (yup, trying to keep myself challenged and interested)This is where netflix is a godsend.
I have decided to try and decorate some christmas ornaments and so far so good. I think they're are going to turn out really well and I'm going to auction them on ebay. If it doesn't work out I have a bunch of neat ornaments that we could use anywayz. I just think I should put my artistic talent to use and maybe even make a little money with it. Especially around holiday season.
I'm scheduled to donate plasma on thurs. I can't donate blood because I'm from Germany so we'll see if the same rules apply for plasma. My guess would be yes but Amadon doesn't think so and he's donated before. Worth a shot. I'd be giving something good and getting a little bit of cash in return.
I worked out again today, and yesterday! I've been doing pretty good (lapsed a little around Halloween). Trying to find time and place to do it is absolutely insane. But i can't use that as an excuse. Yes, it is hard but not impossible and I can't wait to get back into shape again.I use to work out ALL the time premommy hood so I have some background but it's tough to get started again. Here is what I think of the workouts I've done so far.
Tae Bo- meh, it's good if you're in the mood and takes coordination but does deliver a good workout
Strip aerobics (yup, I tried it)- beginning was a little slow but then it got pretty fun once you started to learn the routine, you forget you're working out and your legs and butt kill the next day, and so do your arms from smacking the hubby that keeps trying to watch you
lifting weights- I actually love doing this except for squats, but I have a killer ab routine down and found that taking creatine really helps you from getting sore the next day
walking-great if it's warm out, not too into walking around the mall, not a window shopper, able to take baby with, however when it's cold it just does not work
I'm going to try pilates, yoga, and belly dancing this week. (yup, trying to keep myself challenged and interested)This is where netflix is a godsend.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Vote tomorrow!!
Well, election day is tomorrow. I'm all for measure 3. I've been double checking what everyone stands for. Google npat. It gives a ton of information of the candidates and everything being voted for. If you want to know what someone stands for, this is the site to do it. Don't just vote for someone who's name you remember, make sure you know what you're voting for, and don't just vote for a republican or democrat. Really research these guys. There's more than one running from each party and an independent might just have what you want. And I pretty much said screw whatever politician didn't bother to fill out the npat survey.
VOTE FOR MEASURE 3!!!!
VOTE FOR MEASURE 3!!!!
Thursday, November 02, 2006
finally a word
So I've been writing like a madwoman and I'm actually tempted to send it to a few publishers. I've been working on this for years and then I got writer's block for about two and all of a sudden it just hit me. Thoughts are flowing on paper that I didn't think were ever possible again.
I'm still up. I don't know why. I just haven't been able to sleep the last few nights but I guess I can't complain.
I'm still up. I don't know why. I just haven't been able to sleep the last few nights but I guess I can't complain.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
I just can't help but to at least bitch about this on my blog
Ok, it took all my strength to note respond to Sam's blog. For someone who hasn't even bothered with the most important moments of your life (baby born, baby's birthday, 21st birthday, almost being dead, and getting married oh just to name a few) to say Post!. I would tell them just what a horrible friend they are and how they don't even deserve to know the littlest detail about your life. Grrr. Yes, I'm pissed. I'm sick of seing Sam being treated this way. And I'm not holding back because I'm afraid of what they'll think of my response but because I don't want to start anything on Sam's end. But any day it's too much just give me the word. You deserve soooooo much better than that.
Well on a happier note I started writing again which I haven't done in a couple of years so that's exciting. It's like my writer's block has finally been lifted.
Well on a happier note I started writing again which I haven't done in a couple of years so that's exciting. It's like my writer's block has finally been lifted.
NIN
Today I cleaned the entire house. I am so suprised by everything I accomplished, especially during nap time. I'm a little over stressed so cleaning actually takes the edge off. Kinda like a sick drug.
Well, tonight I'm listening to NIN. Another one of those not sleeping very well kinda nights. Well, Shawn and his wife and kids were in GF today and emailed me to go do something with me and what did I do. Not even read my email until late tonight. Yup, so my friend from Iraq never got to see me. BUt hopefully we can reschedule.
Well Addy learned how to climb up the steps today. Yup. So my futile attempt at putting the baby gate up from the living to the kitchen didn't even matter as she climbed the entire stair well.So I put the gate up about the 4th stair so she can still practice stair climbing but hopefully at a much safer level. Well, that plan backfired. So all day it has been unending screaming and frustration from me not letting her climb at her own free will with ALL the stairs. She gets so stubborn and stuck on her new milestone. When she was learning to crawl she would get up at all hours of the night to "practice." Next comes running. I wish our house came with a big padded race track. Life would be sooo much easier.
Well, tonight I'm listening to NIN. Another one of those not sleeping very well kinda nights. Well, Shawn and his wife and kids were in GF today and emailed me to go do something with me and what did I do. Not even read my email until late tonight. Yup, so my friend from Iraq never got to see me. BUt hopefully we can reschedule.
Well Addy learned how to climb up the steps today. Yup. So my futile attempt at putting the baby gate up from the living to the kitchen didn't even matter as she climbed the entire stair well.So I put the gate up about the 4th stair so she can still practice stair climbing but hopefully at a much safer level. Well, that plan backfired. So all day it has been unending screaming and frustration from me not letting her climb at her own free will with ALL the stairs. She gets so stubborn and stuck on her new milestone. When she was learning to crawl she would get up at all hours of the night to "practice." Next comes running. I wish our house came with a big padded race track. Life would be sooo much easier.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Boo!
Halloween went about as well as it could have. We brought the kids to the alerus center which was packed and we had to stand in line about an hour. It was awful. But we came out with a couple of bags of candy and two gooed up kids so all in all it was halloween. We also tried bringing Case door to door but he got too cold.
I'm ready for a stiff drink and a relaxing bath myself. That sounds like a good after halloween party. Right now I'm jamming out to Orgy a bit. Just can't sleep. One of those nights.
I'm ready for a stiff drink and a relaxing bath myself. That sounds like a good after halloween party. Right now I'm jamming out to Orgy a bit. Just can't sleep. One of those nights.
Monday, October 30, 2006
changed plans
Our weekend didn't quite go as expected. We really didn't get to visit anyone but we did manage to haul a lot of stuff out of our old place in DL and put it into a storage unit. Start the selling process as it looks like we're going to be in GF for long term with Amadon's new job. We brought back some things too like my guitar and weights. Anthony is learning how to play and moving to Fargo so we're going to plan a few jam sessions. We were going to come early Saturday but Anthony came to visit so we hung out until late in the day. We tried out that guitar PS2 game that was actually pretty fun. It's a lot harder than it looks though. So that was nice. Then we picked up Case and headed back to GF.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
weekend plans
Well, we are off to Devils Lake this weekend to visit family and friends and bring back Case for the week. We have trick or treating plans. The alerus center has a thing going on from 5-8 that we're going to go to.
Will post more when I get back on Sun.
Will post more when I get back on Sun.
Friday, October 27, 2006
clingy springy
I am going to try and post more. I've been just trying to get into the routine of things and haven't had a lot of free time.
Adele is overly clingy. To the point where I can't pick up in the same room as her. I can't even stand up or lay down. I have to either be doing something with her or sitting within view. She's always been really outgoing and pretty good at playing by herself. BUt I know she's at that separation anxiety age and it's normal. That doesn't make it any easier.
So I tried to be pretty understanding for a few weeks and really focus a lot of time in getting a new routine for her. I'm sure it's hard on a baby to move, be used to lots of relatives, suddenly have mommy at home full time, and only mommy.
Well, on the bright side Adele is finally letting me have a 5 min shower. It was a battle from the beginning with lot's of crying and shower curtain pulling and tantrums but I wouldn't give in. I showered everyday at the same time and then gave her a bath after me. I think she has finally figured out that I"m not leaving her behind the shower curtain and she gets to have a bath too.
The best news is that she's finally going to bed at a decent hour and every night. 9 pm. Yeah!!! That really helps to have that standard bedtime routine.
Now back to my bitch fest. Yesterday, I finally had it and just put up the baby gate and let her scream her head off while I mopped the floor. And it wasn't just whining. It was blood curdling screaming. I vacuumed, picked up, loaded the dishwasher, all while trying not to tear my hair out. I think I tried about every other option with her and she does need to get used to the fact that we will have a little bit of clean up everyday. Why she can't play with her toys while I talk to her and make the bed I don't get. I read about how when you become stay at home it takes time for the baby to adjust and not think you're going to sneak out and "work" and leave them alone. And it's probably just a phase. I think it will be nice to have Case here all week. She only does this if it's just me. If there's another person in the house she's fine. She'll even sit and play by herself. I think it must just be that thought that she will be alone.
I now own 12 magazine subscriptions. I signed up for 3 at 1.50 per week and then the offer went to that I get a free watch (don't really care) and they heard kids in the background. So free kids magazine. Then I have a hubby. Free ESPN for 4 years. LOL! I'm sure Amadon's going to be soooo thrilled about that. Neither of us are interested in sports. Then I got golfing digest for free. Grrr. I HATE golf. Give this to someone who could use it. I know it's free but no, just no. And on and on. I guess I can change the subscriptions. "It's like having a magazine rack right in my own home!!! " What did I get myself into? At least I got a couple super cheap subscriptions.
Amadon and I are going to plan a date night this weekend which I'm excited about. I also convinced him to learn dancing with me. We're thinking swing. SPeaking of Da Da, here he is home for lunch so will post later.
Adele is overly clingy. To the point where I can't pick up in the same room as her. I can't even stand up or lay down. I have to either be doing something with her or sitting within view. She's always been really outgoing and pretty good at playing by herself. BUt I know she's at that separation anxiety age and it's normal. That doesn't make it any easier.
So I tried to be pretty understanding for a few weeks and really focus a lot of time in getting a new routine for her. I'm sure it's hard on a baby to move, be used to lots of relatives, suddenly have mommy at home full time, and only mommy.
Well, on the bright side Adele is finally letting me have a 5 min shower. It was a battle from the beginning with lot's of crying and shower curtain pulling and tantrums but I wouldn't give in. I showered everyday at the same time and then gave her a bath after me. I think she has finally figured out that I"m not leaving her behind the shower curtain and she gets to have a bath too.
The best news is that she's finally going to bed at a decent hour and every night. 9 pm. Yeah!!! That really helps to have that standard bedtime routine.
Now back to my bitch fest. Yesterday, I finally had it and just put up the baby gate and let her scream her head off while I mopped the floor. And it wasn't just whining. It was blood curdling screaming. I vacuumed, picked up, loaded the dishwasher, all while trying not to tear my hair out. I think I tried about every other option with her and she does need to get used to the fact that we will have a little bit of clean up everyday. Why she can't play with her toys while I talk to her and make the bed I don't get. I read about how when you become stay at home it takes time for the baby to adjust and not think you're going to sneak out and "work" and leave them alone. And it's probably just a phase. I think it will be nice to have Case here all week. She only does this if it's just me. If there's another person in the house she's fine. She'll even sit and play by herself. I think it must just be that thought that she will be alone.
I now own 12 magazine subscriptions. I signed up for 3 at 1.50 per week and then the offer went to that I get a free watch (don't really care) and they heard kids in the background. So free kids magazine. Then I have a hubby. Free ESPN for 4 years. LOL! I'm sure Amadon's going to be soooo thrilled about that. Neither of us are interested in sports. Then I got golfing digest for free. Grrr. I HATE golf. Give this to someone who could use it. I know it's free but no, just no. And on and on. I guess I can change the subscriptions. "It's like having a magazine rack right in my own home!!! " What did I get myself into? At least I got a couple super cheap subscriptions.
Amadon and I are going to plan a date night this weekend which I'm excited about. I also convinced him to learn dancing with me. We're thinking swing. SPeaking of Da Da, here he is home for lunch so will post later.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
update
I know. I know. It's been a long time since I've posted although not as long as Samantha. :) Even though I talk to you and visit you all the time, I still need some blogging material. Ok. Vent over.
Wow, well I don't really know where to start. Quitting my job went well. Very professional on my part. Got all my PTO. I would like to say quite a few things but well don't feel like burning any bridges anytime soon so I will stop right there. But I don't miss it. Not to say that I don't miss working outside the home. It's hard to adjust to the stay at home mom routine. But it's getting better. Amadon LOVES his job. I mean just LOVES it. He's already got a certificate for some of the newest training taught by a guy who came in from New Zealand. I'm so happy for him. He finally found his work niche and has a lot of confidence from it. Stan loves him.
We are planning our wedding vow renewal or however you put that. Nothing fancy. Just our closest friends and family and we're going to take a much needed honeymoon we never got to take the first time around.
Adele is so big. She's walking everywhere. Trying to walk backwards. She looks older everyday. She had a great 1 year party! Big pizza party with all our friends and family there. The kids chased after balloons and I have the cutest pictures!
I've been busy mailing packages. I have this Brazilian girl named Alana that I'm sponsoring and am fixing up a package for her but it's really hard to find things to send to another 1 year old. SO I just sent whatever I knew Adele liked and hopefully she will too.
I would write more but that baby is sleeping and it's quality hubby and wifey time. Yeah, yeah. But when you're married and have a baby you take every second alone you get or when baby goes to bed you relax for a night to yourselves.
Wow, well I don't really know where to start. Quitting my job went well. Very professional on my part. Got all my PTO. I would like to say quite a few things but well don't feel like burning any bridges anytime soon so I will stop right there. But I don't miss it. Not to say that I don't miss working outside the home. It's hard to adjust to the stay at home mom routine. But it's getting better. Amadon LOVES his job. I mean just LOVES it. He's already got a certificate for some of the newest training taught by a guy who came in from New Zealand. I'm so happy for him. He finally found his work niche and has a lot of confidence from it. Stan loves him.
We are planning our wedding vow renewal or however you put that. Nothing fancy. Just our closest friends and family and we're going to take a much needed honeymoon we never got to take the first time around.
Adele is so big. She's walking everywhere. Trying to walk backwards. She looks older everyday. She had a great 1 year party! Big pizza party with all our friends and family there. The kids chased after balloons and I have the cutest pictures!
I've been busy mailing packages. I have this Brazilian girl named Alana that I'm sponsoring and am fixing up a package for her but it's really hard to find things to send to another 1 year old. SO I just sent whatever I knew Adele liked and hopefully she will too.
I would write more but that baby is sleeping and it's quality hubby and wifey time. Yeah, yeah. But when you're married and have a baby you take every second alone you get or when baby goes to bed you relax for a night to yourselves.
Friday, September 29, 2006
resignation
After Amadon had talked to his boss it has become very apparent that he will have a very difficult schedule to work around. So we have concluded that I need to put in my resignation today. I'm sad and nervous about it. I wanted to quit eventually or become flex but I wasn't expecting this so soon. But it's important to support Amadon's career right now and if I can't work around his hours then I will have to take a bit of a break and maybe I fill find something better. I think I'm going to go back to school now. I am TERRIBLE at quitting jobs. I'm very wishy washy and try to stay on the work schedule somehow. I, technically can even go back and work at my last job in DL whenever I would want to. I can only give a 2 week notice instead of 4 so I'm afraid I will lose my 8 days of PTO which I'm a little upset about to. We were going to use that to go on a trip but Amadon has a drill weekend and it's also Adele's birthday. What can you do? Maybe there is a reason for this. Maybe there is a path I haven't yet discovered and quitting this job will lead me there. I am SOOOO nervous. I don't even want to see my boss but I also don't want to burn any bridges so I am going to do this as professionaly and with as much notice as I can possibly give. Breath in. Breath out. I hope this is the right decision. But then again, what other choice to we have? Unless, I could magically find daycare that works around our hours.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
ah-dee-koh!!!
So ah-dee-koh is Adele's favorite new sound. It is sooo cute when she says it. I found her a birthday book for a $1 today at the book store (75% off) that she loves. I was a little shocked when I looked at snowsuits. $50. I'm not kidding you. At that price I'd rather just wrap her up like a little taco with $50 worth of blankets and put a hat on her. Or check ebay. :)
Well things have been pretty hectic trying to get prescriptions filled from DL to GF and what not. I finally returned my breast pump today. It even had a dead spider on it. Yuck. I know. How gross is that. And how long do you think it must of sat in my closet? I'm terrified to even look at the bill. I'm praying insurance picks some of it up. But they haven't sent me a bill and I forgot about it. But I'm guessing I had it for about 6 months. 4 of which I never used. Ok, 3. I could probably say I used it for 3 months. Not that I wasn't intent on breast feeding. No one knew why I couldn't do it and by the time we figured out birth control and zyrtec don't mix she was starting solids anyway. But we had gotten 3 good months in. And then 3 months of trying.
Well, hopefully the hubby and I can get some quality time in tonight. Our schedules are always opposite with each other so it's tough to spend a lot of time together.
Well things have been pretty hectic trying to get prescriptions filled from DL to GF and what not. I finally returned my breast pump today. It even had a dead spider on it. Yuck. I know. How gross is that. And how long do you think it must of sat in my closet? I'm terrified to even look at the bill. I'm praying insurance picks some of it up. But they haven't sent me a bill and I forgot about it. But I'm guessing I had it for about 6 months. 4 of which I never used. Ok, 3. I could probably say I used it for 3 months. Not that I wasn't intent on breast feeding. No one knew why I couldn't do it and by the time we figured out birth control and zyrtec don't mix she was starting solids anyway. But we had gotten 3 good months in. And then 3 months of trying.
Well, hopefully the hubby and I can get some quality time in tonight. Our schedules are always opposite with each other so it's tough to spend a lot of time together.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
a walking munchkin
Adele stood up and took 2 steps completely by herself today. It was in the bathroom because she needed to be rightbesideme but it was the cutest thing ever. I'm so proud of her. Go Sweetie Pie!!!
the clothes nazi
I live in a string of townhomes that are two feet(literally) away from an apartment complex that looks identical to our buildings, owned by the same management etc etc. So on floor 2 they have washers and dryers (enough for everybody) that are really cheap to use. About $2-3 less than the laundrymat per load. So it just makes sense that we wash clothes there. Well, I bring a bucket of laundry in and this little old lady in a red suit very snobbishly asks if I live here. I tell her yes I do, I live in the townhomes right next door. She tells me I cannot use THEIR laundry machine and I need to use my own in my own apartment complex. I tell her we live in townhomes and there are no community washers and dryers, that's what THIS building is for because we are connected. She tells me some story about another lady that used their washer and dryer and wasn't suppose to. I told her I even had permission. She wanted to know from who. I told her I didn't remember the name, which I didn't. And then she proceeded to argue with me that I have my own washer and dryer in my building to use. Well, that would be a nice convenience, but I'm pretty sure we don't. I live here and if we did then why in the hell would I be walking over here. I finally just told her, "NO, we don't have washers and I'm not going to fight with you." and left. Come on, why the hell would you even care if I used one of the many machines you have on floor two, when I'm your neighbor with the same management. I mean our street number is on their door and not ours because we are connected. Grrr. If this lady makes me drives miles and miles to a laundry mat that charges me $3 per load, I will be so pissed.
Saturday, September 23, 2006
a night of living hell and horny taxi drivers
Check out freecycle.org. I joined. You can get or give away anything and it's free. There's local chapters. I'm hoping to go garage sale-ing today if the hubby ever decides to get out of the shower. :) I have become an addict. There's just something about finding things in great condition for like a quarter that have me hooked. I could spend the entire day "shopping" and barely spent anything. It's like a guilty pleasure that I have no reason to feel guilty about.
Adele is crabby and fussing and it's driving me nuts. I know she's used to a bunch of people entertaining her. Thank God for Town House crackers. It's one of her favorite snacks. And yes, I even let her eat them in the living room. I can always vaccuum later. I'm sure there's a bunch of reasons why letting her get crackers all over the place is bad. And yes I could battle with her in the high chair but sometimes mommies just need a little sanity and I'll admit it. This is one of mine.
Well, last night was interesting. I had a shitty and I say shitty because I really mean shitty day at work. I was so glad to get out of there. Every muscle ached (and I'm typing this with a screaming infant tugging at me demanding to know why I could possibly be spending any time away from her, sigh, this is why living with your parents for a few months is not a good idea, this will take a lot of work to change) and as I joyishly galloped/danced/ran to the car I realized there was no car there. A hubby had forgotten to pick me up. So I waited and waited and waited and called and called and called. Finally, I decided to call a taxi. As I get in, this enormous man who I later found out used to be a bouncer in Missouri proceeds to tell me what a hot red head I am. Oh, great. Just what I need. So I shrug it off, change the subject, all the little tactics you use to get rid of guys like this. Well, that didn't happen. After hearing way too much sexual and inappropriate conversation I was ready to bolt out of that car. He was even giving me a "break" on the meter here and there even though I didn't need him too and proceeded to tell me about girls who will do anything (ahem and I won't go into this but I mean anything, and after visualizing these types of things I think I will have nightmares all week) for a free taxi ride. Although he has to still charge them but they can do whatever they want to. Um, ick. I kinda get this whole classy broad type of speech of what I am. Then I find out that he lives near me. Then we get lost. Then he flat out asks me if I ever take this taxi service frequently because if his boss or coworkers heard of anything he told me, even if I just joked about it, it would not be a good situation. I agree and talk about how I'm married and need to get home and how this 300 lb man has absolutely no reason to be angry with me over anything and how because I'm married (thank God I had checks to support this claim) I can't get involved with him and I just pray he has no other motives in mind. I get out of the car, he wants my license, I find enough change for the fare and call it a night. And pray to God he forgets who I am, where I work, and where I live. No matter how turned on he gets by red heads. I hear the hubby's story. He fell asleep. Then I tell him mine and he gets angry and wants to bash this guys face in and it was just one hell of a night. So I'm looking really forward to something fun and relaxing today so we can forget all about this.
Adele is crabby and fussing and it's driving me nuts. I know she's used to a bunch of people entertaining her. Thank God for Town House crackers. It's one of her favorite snacks. And yes, I even let her eat them in the living room. I can always vaccuum later. I'm sure there's a bunch of reasons why letting her get crackers all over the place is bad. And yes I could battle with her in the high chair but sometimes mommies just need a little sanity and I'll admit it. This is one of mine.
Well, last night was interesting. I had a shitty and I say shitty because I really mean shitty day at work. I was so glad to get out of there. Every muscle ached (and I'm typing this with a screaming infant tugging at me demanding to know why I could possibly be spending any time away from her, sigh, this is why living with your parents for a few months is not a good idea, this will take a lot of work to change) and as I joyishly galloped/danced/ran to the car I realized there was no car there. A hubby had forgotten to pick me up. So I waited and waited and waited and called and called and called. Finally, I decided to call a taxi. As I get in, this enormous man who I later found out used to be a bouncer in Missouri proceeds to tell me what a hot red head I am. Oh, great. Just what I need. So I shrug it off, change the subject, all the little tactics you use to get rid of guys like this. Well, that didn't happen. After hearing way too much sexual and inappropriate conversation I was ready to bolt out of that car. He was even giving me a "break" on the meter here and there even though I didn't need him too and proceeded to tell me about girls who will do anything (ahem and I won't go into this but I mean anything, and after visualizing these types of things I think I will have nightmares all week) for a free taxi ride. Although he has to still charge them but they can do whatever they want to. Um, ick. I kinda get this whole classy broad type of speech of what I am. Then I find out that he lives near me. Then we get lost. Then he flat out asks me if I ever take this taxi service frequently because if his boss or coworkers heard of anything he told me, even if I just joked about it, it would not be a good situation. I agree and talk about how I'm married and need to get home and how this 300 lb man has absolutely no reason to be angry with me over anything and how because I'm married (thank God I had checks to support this claim) I can't get involved with him and I just pray he has no other motives in mind. I get out of the car, he wants my license, I find enough change for the fare and call it a night. And pray to God he forgets who I am, where I work, and where I live. No matter how turned on he gets by red heads. I hear the hubby's story. He fell asleep. Then I tell him mine and he gets angry and wants to bash this guys face in and it was just one hell of a night. So I'm looking really forward to something fun and relaxing today so we can forget all about this.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Hey,Hey!
Settling in
Settling into forks and a new routine has been hard. But I know eventually it will get better. There's a list of little things that need to get done that is about a mile long. The days haven't been very nice so I couldn't go outside. I think I have a little cabin fever.
Sprechen die Deutsch?
I want to learn German again and become fluent in it. I think it would be nice to be able to teach Adele two languages. How I get started on this mission is beyond me. I think I will have to google and find a German pen pal. You really need to engage and talk in the language in order for it to really come. I wonder if I'd start thinking again in German. I did that early on in high school when I had my relatives come overseas and talk to me. After about a week I would think in German and when I spoke English a lot of times I would say German words or write in German. I think part of you really gets wired in your mother tongue.
Job Update
Amadon really likes his new job. It's going really well and so is our entire financial situation. I still have to talk to my boss to figure out what's going on with mine. I would like to stay working part time or even occasional weekends for a little added cash especially during the holiday season. In spring I want to go back to school full time.
Party Updates
I figured out invitations. I'm going to send photo ones. We're still debating where to have the party at.
Settling into forks and a new routine has been hard. But I know eventually it will get better. There's a list of little things that need to get done that is about a mile long. The days haven't been very nice so I couldn't go outside. I think I have a little cabin fever.
Sprechen die Deutsch?
I want to learn German again and become fluent in it. I think it would be nice to be able to teach Adele two languages. How I get started on this mission is beyond me. I think I will have to google and find a German pen pal. You really need to engage and talk in the language in order for it to really come. I wonder if I'd start thinking again in German. I did that early on in high school when I had my relatives come overseas and talk to me. After about a week I would think in German and when I spoke English a lot of times I would say German words or write in German. I think part of you really gets wired in your mother tongue.
Job Update
Amadon really likes his new job. It's going really well and so is our entire financial situation. I still have to talk to my boss to figure out what's going on with mine. I would like to stay working part time or even occasional weekends for a little added cash especially during the holiday season. In spring I want to go back to school full time.
Party Updates
I figured out invitations. I'm going to send photo ones. We're still debating where to have the party at.
Monday, September 18, 2006
first day at work
We're back in GF now. We had Vonage sitting at our door and some really good mail about how we're eligible for Medicaid which will help us transition into Amadon's benefits. I have good benefits but with how Amadon's schedule is I will have to see what my boss can work around with me and I don't have a really great feeling about it. I'll have to have that conversation tomorrow. I already got scheduled for a drill weekend that I can't work on the 14th of Oct. Oh, tomorrow is not going to be fun. However, at least I know no matter what happens we'll be ok and we even have benefits to fall back on for a month or two.
Adele's been walking with people helping her and we'll flip over a laundry basket and she'll use it like a walker. That's pretty neat. She's getting sooo big. I still don't know what I'm going to do for her birthday.
Today is Amadon's first day at his new job. He's pretty nervous so I hope he has a really good day. I know he misses camp. We got to hang out with Mccloud for a bit yesterday and he misses us.
Today I am cleaning, organizing, and hanging up photos.
Adele's been walking with people helping her and we'll flip over a laundry basket and she'll use it like a walker. That's pretty neat. She's getting sooo big. I still don't know what I'm going to do for her birthday.
Today is Amadon's first day at his new job. He's pretty nervous so I hope he has a really good day. I know he misses camp. We got to hang out with Mccloud for a bit yesterday and he misses us.
Today I am cleaning, organizing, and hanging up photos.
Friday, September 08, 2006
a big Congrats!
a big congrats to the hubby!!!!
He decided to take that job with Stan's. He'll have a nice salary, good benefits, advancement opportunities and gets sent to school in Oct that they're paying for. So good job hun! I'm really excited for him and hope he likes it. Yeah, that means a year in forks but I've been thinking of ways to make it better. I'm going to write lots of letters, emails, and phone calls to friends and family. It'll be hard but I think worth it.
It's odd sitting at my own place. Very quiet. No phone. We're getting vonage in a few days though as we're moving back here.
I'm thinking of ways to decorate our place and organize it. The baby likes to tear everything down so I was thinking shelves and baskets might work.
I wrote a letter to get my financial aid reinstated which I'm nervous about (long story short, never drop 1 class even if you might fail it if you only took 2). I'm hoping to go to school full time this winter semester. I think I need a semester off this fall to get everything in order and get into a routine.
Well Adele's birthday is only about a month away so it's party planning time!!! I think I'm going to do it the Sat after the 11th at the Great Northern Building.I think it's a nice neutral spot for all our family members and friends so noone would feel awkward or hurt .
I'm excited. And nervous. Part of me doesn't want to get my hopes up but this really could be the opportunity we were waiting for. This could be the answer to a lot of things.....and we're going out to Seafood night to celebrate.
He decided to take that job with Stan's. He'll have a nice salary, good benefits, advancement opportunities and gets sent to school in Oct that they're paying for. So good job hun! I'm really excited for him and hope he likes it. Yeah, that means a year in forks but I've been thinking of ways to make it better. I'm going to write lots of letters, emails, and phone calls to friends and family. It'll be hard but I think worth it.
It's odd sitting at my own place. Very quiet. No phone. We're getting vonage in a few days though as we're moving back here.
I'm thinking of ways to decorate our place and organize it. The baby likes to tear everything down so I was thinking shelves and baskets might work.
I wrote a letter to get my financial aid reinstated which I'm nervous about (long story short, never drop 1 class even if you might fail it if you only took 2). I'm hoping to go to school full time this winter semester. I think I need a semester off this fall to get everything in order and get into a routine.
Well Adele's birthday is only about a month away so it's party planning time!!! I think I'm going to do it the Sat after the 11th at the Great Northern Building.I think it's a nice neutral spot for all our family members and friends so noone would feel awkward or hurt .
I'm excited. And nervous. Part of me doesn't want to get my hopes up but this really could be the opportunity we were waiting for. This could be the answer to a lot of things.....and we're going out to Seafood night to celebrate.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
busy waiting
Wow, it's been busy!! I never knew waiting could be so busy. Well, Amadon has that job with Stan's. He would start the 16th of this month and get sent to school in October. They're still negotiating salary so cross your fingers that it works out. Camp is going really good for Amadon and we are torn a bit by job options. I think because we've hit some low points that it's really hard to take a risk again when things are comfortable now. I'm also big on having things in writing. Yeah, it's a bit pessimistic but when you've get things promised by employers that never occur and there's not a paper trail it's just not a good situation.
Ms. Addy has a cold and cough so has been fussy. She starting to say words. She learned the sh sound and pairs it with other sounds she knows, so guess what one of her favorite words is? SHIT! We're trying to just ignore that and get her to say other things like Pup Pup and Baby. Still no MaMa. Sigh. She just can't figure out that "mm" sound. She loves bike rides though. We got her a bike seat yesterday so we can go biking together.
I've been losing some baby weight. Finally, after 11 months!! I'm a dress size smaller and it's pretty exciting for me.
My grandparent's are starting to get a little wore out with our living arrangement. And it's kinda hard to shell out a nice chunck of money a month for a condo for your cats to live in as you're not living there yourselves. I wish I had answers for everything that's going on but it's still waiting, waiting, waiting. I don't go online much because of dial up but I'll keep you updated.
Ms. Addy has a cold and cough so has been fussy. She starting to say words. She learned the sh sound and pairs it with other sounds she knows, so guess what one of her favorite words is? SHIT! We're trying to just ignore that and get her to say other things like Pup Pup and Baby. Still no MaMa. Sigh. She just can't figure out that "mm" sound. She loves bike rides though. We got her a bike seat yesterday so we can go biking together.
I've been losing some baby weight. Finally, after 11 months!! I'm a dress size smaller and it's pretty exciting for me.
My grandparent's are starting to get a little wore out with our living arrangement. And it's kinda hard to shell out a nice chunck of money a month for a condo for your cats to live in as you're not living there yourselves. I wish I had answers for everything that's going on but it's still waiting, waiting, waiting. I don't go online much because of dial up but I'll keep you updated.
Saturday, August 26, 2006
updates
Baby Part 1.
Things have been crazy for us! Well, we've been anxiously waiting for the arrival of baby reese. I kinda hope it doesn't happen until Monday but Sam would kill me if it did wait that long, lol. However, it looks like DC will be there. We've been visiting a lot and went to DQ with the girls. Adele stole Ally's french fry and it was the funniest thing ever. They're playing together a lot better now. It's been so nice to be in DL for that fact that I get to see Samantha a whole lot more.
Baby Part 2.
Adele has a new fear. One that is going to really be a pain in the ass come winter. She HATES long sleeve shirts or jackets or anything else that could possibly cover her arms and keep them warm in any way, shape, or form. I mean she screams, bites the sleeve, tries to rip it off, and will not settle down until it is off of her. She has 5 teeth now!!! 3 bottom, and 2 upper. She's also been standing completely by herself more and doesn't want to sit in the tub anymore. She wants to stand and dance around so that's been a struggle. The latest thing she's wanted to get into is toilet water. I don't know what is so magical about toilet bowl water and she gets in trouble every time so I think I have to get one of those child proof hinges for it. She also learned how to open up cupboards and drawers and pinch her fingers in them at my Grandma's house. SO many No's, so few Yes's, such is the life of a boddler (baby toddler). Yeah, I did just come up with that name. :)
Job Hunt news
A radio maintence posistion opened up if forks and the guy is so excited about Amadon's resume and training that he can't wait to meet him and offer him something. The bad part...it's in forks. So a lot of it depends on what this guy will offer Amadon. We're still keeping our eyes open about things with camp but this might just be what we need for right now and who knows maybe this posistion will have a lot of advancement opportunities too. It is a hard decision. You get so afraid of making the wrong choice. You also have to factor is living expenses in each town, daycare options, schooling options, etc. I really hope he gets some good news and gets offered some great pay and benefits. We added up the bills and what he makes right now and figured out exactly what he needs to get offered to make it worthwhile. Keep you posted.
Faul news
It's labor day weekend and we are making plans. I have the whole weekend off and we're debating what to do. We want to do something fun with the kids. Zoo, maybe the pool, grilling, sulley's hill, feeding ducks, going for a train ride....hmmm.
Things have been crazy for us! Well, we've been anxiously waiting for the arrival of baby reese. I kinda hope it doesn't happen until Monday but Sam would kill me if it did wait that long, lol. However, it looks like DC will be there. We've been visiting a lot and went to DQ with the girls. Adele stole Ally's french fry and it was the funniest thing ever. They're playing together a lot better now. It's been so nice to be in DL for that fact that I get to see Samantha a whole lot more.
Baby Part 2.
Adele has a new fear. One that is going to really be a pain in the ass come winter. She HATES long sleeve shirts or jackets or anything else that could possibly cover her arms and keep them warm in any way, shape, or form. I mean she screams, bites the sleeve, tries to rip it off, and will not settle down until it is off of her. She has 5 teeth now!!! 3 bottom, and 2 upper. She's also been standing completely by herself more and doesn't want to sit in the tub anymore. She wants to stand and dance around so that's been a struggle. The latest thing she's wanted to get into is toilet water. I don't know what is so magical about toilet bowl water and she gets in trouble every time so I think I have to get one of those child proof hinges for it. She also learned how to open up cupboards and drawers and pinch her fingers in them at my Grandma's house. SO many No's, so few Yes's, such is the life of a boddler (baby toddler). Yeah, I did just come up with that name. :)
Job Hunt news
A radio maintence posistion opened up if forks and the guy is so excited about Amadon's resume and training that he can't wait to meet him and offer him something. The bad part...it's in forks. So a lot of it depends on what this guy will offer Amadon. We're still keeping our eyes open about things with camp but this might just be what we need for right now and who knows maybe this posistion will have a lot of advancement opportunities too. It is a hard decision. You get so afraid of making the wrong choice. You also have to factor is living expenses in each town, daycare options, schooling options, etc. I really hope he gets some good news and gets offered some great pay and benefits. We added up the bills and what he makes right now and figured out exactly what he needs to get offered to make it worthwhile. Keep you posted.
Faul news
It's labor day weekend and we are making plans. I have the whole weekend off and we're debating what to do. We want to do something fun with the kids. Zoo, maybe the pool, grilling, sulley's hill, feeding ducks, going for a train ride....hmmm.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
late on blogging
I feel kinda bad I haven't posted in a while but things have been so busy! We' ve had a couple weeks of visiting lot's of people like Amadon's mom, Darla and Corey, Sam, my parents and then having Case for a few days. We promised Jason we'd visit but we haven't had a chance yet. Next week.
Sam's baby shower was on Tuesday and I was so nervous about hosting it. I was baking like a madwoman and getting everything decorated and I think it turned out really well. Amadon volunteered to entertain the kids during the shower. My parents helped me set up. We played lot's of games and had fun.
Well, Ms. Adele has been standing by herself! She has all four teeth and she's been learning so many new things! She's so much fun (and work) now that she's cruising everywhere. She just laughs if you kiss her back and wants to feel everyones' teeth.
We went out to the Ranch yesterday for Darla's birthday and had a good time. Adele had a french fry and it was the best thing in the world. She also likes asparagous (sp?) which surprised me. We also saw Dan and Sarah.
The thing out at camp could possibly last for quite a long time. I'd like to just switch jobs and move here but nothing is a definate yet, even the Iraq thing, so we're just staying put and doing the split.
We've both been working out. Hopefully we can go running (which I hate but Amadon loves to do ) tonight, lift a few weights, and do some ab work before heading back. I'm just really ready to lose the baby weight. Amadon want's to get in peak condition for the guard and it's just a good lifestyle to get into.
Things are starting to fall into place. I'm so happy. We got some money out of the pontiac, all our bills are almost caught up, Amadon's happy about his career choice, and I'm getting ready to go back to school this winter. I'm a little on edge though. Every time things start to really look up something happens but I'm hoping this time it's the right time for everything to work.
Sam's baby shower was on Tuesday and I was so nervous about hosting it. I was baking like a madwoman and getting everything decorated and I think it turned out really well. Amadon volunteered to entertain the kids during the shower. My parents helped me set up. We played lot's of games and had fun.
Well, Ms. Adele has been standing by herself! She has all four teeth and she's been learning so many new things! She's so much fun (and work) now that she's cruising everywhere. She just laughs if you kiss her back and wants to feel everyones' teeth.
We went out to the Ranch yesterday for Darla's birthday and had a good time. Adele had a french fry and it was the best thing in the world. She also likes asparagous (sp?) which surprised me. We also saw Dan and Sarah.
The thing out at camp could possibly last for quite a long time. I'd like to just switch jobs and move here but nothing is a definate yet, even the Iraq thing, so we're just staying put and doing the split.
We've both been working out. Hopefully we can go running (which I hate but Amadon loves to do ) tonight, lift a few weights, and do some ab work before heading back. I'm just really ready to lose the baby weight. Amadon want's to get in peak condition for the guard and it's just a good lifestyle to get into.
Things are starting to fall into place. I'm so happy. We got some money out of the pontiac, all our bills are almost caught up, Amadon's happy about his career choice, and I'm getting ready to go back to school this winter. I'm a little on edge though. Every time things start to really look up something happens but I'm hoping this time it's the right time for everything to work.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
happy and at peace
The last details of the shower are getting finished. I have center pieces done, games planned, most of the party favors done, now for the food and cake. I've never done one by myself before so I hope everything goes well. I guess my cards were a hit though. :)
I feel so much better now that I have finished my last blog. Not to keep bringing up that sad subject but it really is a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. And the more I step back and let go the more I realize just how good it is that I decided to do that and how some people just like to bully and justify themselves to the end. I even heard they're still arguing with each other about facts that aren't even the least bit accurate and whatever else. I think that proves without a doubt that they're only interested in hearing themselves argue because for whatever reason it makes them feel better about themselves. I don't know if I'll ever understand what happened, but maybe it's not for me to understand. It really did give me a lesson in self appreciation though, trust, and knowing who your friends are. I've never felt more confident and at peace. I'm worried about myself and my family and not defending myself or letting myself be placed in that "victim" role by other people to get judged and critiqued. I am a perfectionist at heart and have always strived for that in everything I do and I really think that sucked a lot of energy out of me and pain that could have been used on things that are actually important to worry about. Why care what people think about you who are biased and close minded to begin with? Why even use any superficial things or things out of your control to judge yourself? It's not about money, or status, or anything of the sort. I know I am a wonderful mother, wife, and friend. I have a wonderful marriage, a roof over my head, food, a beautiful daughter, a few friendships that are the most wonderful thing to have, and family. I am so blessed and I am not going to let little petty things ruin that. I have before and it accomplishes nothing, does nothing. They are so many people that are in my shoes or in similar circumstances which I didn't realize before and that it's normal. I guess I didn't realize this paragraph was getting this long and for those that are still reading it, congrats. Lol. But to sum it up I am finally happy, at peace, and really ready to move on with my life with so many things and put my energy to where it really matters.
Well, the moving thing has been a little bit frustrating. Now we're going to stay in forks for a couple of months and then move back to DL. So just long enough to not bother hanging up frames or getting quite comfy enough to feel at home. As grateful I am to my parents for letting us stay with them, it's been hard too not to have your own space. It's just the constant 4 days in DL, 3 in GF that is starting to wear thin. It's kind of like you're in this state of limbo and just waiting. And I hate waiting, I like acting, doing. But Amadon's got his job and schooling plan until 2008 which will be really exciting. Starting that year he has a new thing in the guard where he's going to get trained to do some electrical work (this would be so much better if Amadon said this but I think you'll get the jist of it) that he'll do for a couple of years and then use that training in the civilian world to get a really good job. When he told me the pay, my mouth just hung open. Not that, that's what's really important. But after being broke for so long, it's nice to possibly have that. And I know from being where we are at that we would really use that money in the best ways we could and hopefully start or donate to an organization to help people.
I'm still a little unsure of what to do with schooling. I'm not sure what town I'm going to be living in, or my working and daycare schedule so I'm just taking a semester off for now and hopefully we'll figure something out.
I suppose I better go and get ready for the day.
I feel so much better now that I have finished my last blog. Not to keep bringing up that sad subject but it really is a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. And the more I step back and let go the more I realize just how good it is that I decided to do that and how some people just like to bully and justify themselves to the end. I even heard they're still arguing with each other about facts that aren't even the least bit accurate and whatever else. I think that proves without a doubt that they're only interested in hearing themselves argue because for whatever reason it makes them feel better about themselves. I don't know if I'll ever understand what happened, but maybe it's not for me to understand. It really did give me a lesson in self appreciation though, trust, and knowing who your friends are. I've never felt more confident and at peace. I'm worried about myself and my family and not defending myself or letting myself be placed in that "victim" role by other people to get judged and critiqued. I am a perfectionist at heart and have always strived for that in everything I do and I really think that sucked a lot of energy out of me and pain that could have been used on things that are actually important to worry about. Why care what people think about you who are biased and close minded to begin with? Why even use any superficial things or things out of your control to judge yourself? It's not about money, or status, or anything of the sort. I know I am a wonderful mother, wife, and friend. I have a wonderful marriage, a roof over my head, food, a beautiful daughter, a few friendships that are the most wonderful thing to have, and family. I am so blessed and I am not going to let little petty things ruin that. I have before and it accomplishes nothing, does nothing. They are so many people that are in my shoes or in similar circumstances which I didn't realize before and that it's normal. I guess I didn't realize this paragraph was getting this long and for those that are still reading it, congrats. Lol. But to sum it up I am finally happy, at peace, and really ready to move on with my life with so many things and put my energy to where it really matters.
Well, the moving thing has been a little bit frustrating. Now we're going to stay in forks for a couple of months and then move back to DL. So just long enough to not bother hanging up frames or getting quite comfy enough to feel at home. As grateful I am to my parents for letting us stay with them, it's been hard too not to have your own space. It's just the constant 4 days in DL, 3 in GF that is starting to wear thin. It's kind of like you're in this state of limbo and just waiting. And I hate waiting, I like acting, doing. But Amadon's got his job and schooling plan until 2008 which will be really exciting. Starting that year he has a new thing in the guard where he's going to get trained to do some electrical work (this would be so much better if Amadon said this but I think you'll get the jist of it) that he'll do for a couple of years and then use that training in the civilian world to get a really good job. When he told me the pay, my mouth just hung open. Not that, that's what's really important. But after being broke for so long, it's nice to possibly have that. And I know from being where we are at that we would really use that money in the best ways we could and hopefully start or donate to an organization to help people.
I'm still a little unsure of what to do with schooling. I'm not sure what town I'm going to be living in, or my working and daycare schedule so I'm just taking a semester off for now and hopefully we'll figure something out.
I suppose I better go and get ready for the day.
Monday, August 07, 2006
quick update
I think I have my new blog all figured out now. A few technical difficulties. Well I've been busy with planning Sam's baby shower.Any baby shower tips? I have most of it figured out but always up for new ideas. Adele can now stand. She's been doing it the past week now. Her third tooth came in two week ago. It's her top right one and the other one is coming in now. She also likes to wave and can't stand to watch anyone eat that doesn't share. She gets very upset over this. I will blog more later. We've been busy with the DL/GF split which I hope gets resolved soon and in a good way.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
cheers to a new beginning, with true friends
Welcome , all my friends to my new blog!!! For most of you, you probably know why I have switched to a new blog. This is a place for all my friends to give their thoughts and feelings and honest advice. I will post pictures and write about my daily happenings. Hope to hear from you real soon!
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